i'm (sort of) back!!!

yeah.. sorry for keeping this blog dead before i have the time to dig it back out from the grave.

yeap. it's THAT dead. maybe i shouldn't update you guys on blabbering-long posts. just short and sweet. and what i'm currently thinking.

been reading through a lot of dead blogs too.. and i was thinking "wow. it's like mine!"

actually this blog has not been dead. let's see it in a different perception. it not alive. that's better right?

let me pour my heart and soul out here. this year started pretty well, (you can't say it's perfect) but unfortunately, that was the best part of this year. then everything started to collapse. i didn't manage to catch them all...

i could have coped with my studies. i was doing fine during the beginning of this year(shit! i'm time travelling now!!). yes, i slept in the afternoon and studied at night. UPSTAIRS. until you said that i've been missing out on my family. i didn't think so cause you've got to understand who's ACTUALLY missing out. an hour of laughter with us is not going to replace all the dinners you missed out. one by one the rules came in and don't forget to mention the curfews and the i-forbid-you-to-do-this things. my roads are blocked. i'm already stagnant. stationary. dead.

i couldn't set my head straight. i couldn't focus. i couldn't cope. if you count that flu, fevers and headaches are diseases, heck, i've been sick for the whole year!!

perfect is what you make it. i know the worlds is unfair, but why does it have to be unfair in my favor? how come making things perfect is tougher for me? with all the rules and conditions, i still have to be perfect in YOUR favor? in my opinion, your not accepting me for who i am. life gets tougher. it's not gonna easy. just don;t make it any harder. i'm done trying to please people. i'm just thinking that it's time that the world revolve around me. i'll make it.

i told you before-i don't know what's wrong with us. or me. i still don't know. all i know is, things are going to get worse.

i said that everything i do doesn't need a point. let me correct myself. everything i do has at least one useless point. THAT'S the point. then you'll say that what is the point of having a point when the point is useless? THAT'S the point. although it's useless, it's still a point. sometimes i tell you things for the sake of telling you things. THAT'S the point.

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nobody knows what does it feels like,

to be me.

see me materially,

you may think i'm lucky,

see me emotionally,

you'll change your mind.

you think you know me,

you only THINK you know me.

and i have proved you wrong.

you don't know me. at all.

how would you know me?

if I've not shown who am i?

you don't know what i would be.

you've been pointing out my mistakes.

means you've been looking at me negatively.

you've never known the better part of me.

i've just proved myself correct.

once again. i admit defeat.

have me in whatever form.

i'll just blindly follow.

cause i've admitted defeat.

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believe me. if you read my blog, you know who you are and which one is dedicated to you.

the two girls i know will deny me. that's 10000000000000000000% sure. you can kick my head while it rolls on the field or dig my eyeballs out and feed it to the fishes if you can prove my statement to be false.